


Ascendancy

by Codenich



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: 6YearsWithWINNER_WriterCircle, Brotherhood, Family, Other, Platonic Relationships, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 11,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Codenich/pseuds/Codenich
Summary: This Winner fanfic was inspired by the Winner boys themselves, and a song by Trivium. It's about struggles and hardship, and finally rising above them."Ascend above the ashes of the world I once knewAscendancy is the only thing this will prove" - Trivium's Ascendancy
Relationships: Kang Seungyoon/Kim Jinwoo/Lee Seunghoon/Song Minho | Mino
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue : Have a Good Day

It was odd to have a rainy day in April, but that was what happened. The four boys stood stoically, as they watched the caskets of their parents being lowered down inside the grave. Family and friends gathered around the two graves. Words of condolences were exchanged, every now and then. A few nods, here and there.

Mino gripped the handle of the umbrella tightly. His heart broke, since two days ago, and it keeps on breaking to pieces. He knew, there was no way he could mend the broken pieces. He tried to fight the tears, to be strong for his brothers, but, he couldn't stop the tears. His birthday will never be the same again. Silently he cursed that day, 30th March.

Hoon watched his siblings struggling to fight their tears. Mino has lost since the beginning, and just like himself, Jinu got a bit teary. His main concern was his youngest brother. He hasn't seen him cry since they received the news two days ago. Last night, whilst passing Yoon's bedroom, he heard faint sobbing. He hated that his little brother had to stay strong for them.

Jinu felt the umbrella almost slip from his hand. Seeing the graves being covered hits him hard. It finally dawned on him, that it'll be just the four of them from that moment on. Him being the eldest, would be responsible for his younger brothers. Anxiety and panic hits him, then he heard Yoon whispered, telling him to take a deep breath. He stared at his youngest brother. It pains him to see Yoon, the baby brother, had to take care of him, the eldest.

Yoon stood there, in between Mino, and Jinu. He watched Mino's left hand gripped the umbrella, and the other one curled into a fist. He could hear him clenching his teeth. He turned his focus to his other side, and watched Jinu staring into spaces. He sighed. Hoon just stood next to Mino, and ocassionally thanking family and friends for coming.

The brothers stood there for an hour, after everyone left. No words were exchanged. They just stood, staring into the graves. Every single one of them was lost in thoughts. Perhaps regretting the past, or planning the future. Either way, no one was smiling.

It was another hour later, when Hoon suggested them to go back home. They were all soaking wet in their black suits. As they were about to leave, and heading to the car, Mino stopped them.

"I wanted to say something," Mino's voice was barely heard.

The three brothers nodded their agreement, and allowed Mino to have his last say. He sang softly.

_"That pain that was left behind all alone in that cold place_  
_I can't know it, the only thing I can do is close my eyes and pray_  
_I'll beg with my two hands that still has your warmth_  
_Until my voice reaches that place_  
_My dear, are you well?_  
_I finally ask you, even if you're there_  
_Have a good day, have a good day, have a good day_  
_Although I'll only see you at my end_  
_Why do I regret it now, until then_  
_Have a good day, have a good day, have a good day in heaven"_


	2. Jinu : Dduk

It has been a month since that tragedy. That phone call from the police still haunt me. I still wake up every night, in cold sweat, fearing for my brothers' safety. It has become a routine for me to wake up in the middle of the night to check up on my brothers. Hoon would be sleeping with creased on his forehead. Sometimes I could hear Yoon talking in his sleep, calling for our parents. My heart broke for him. Mino was just being him. I knew he pretended to sleep whenever I checked up on him. I knew he took it the hardest, but, I didn't know how to soothe his pain.

I dropped my acting classes, and dance lesson. My brothers told me that I should keep at least one. I couldn't. Not when I'm the oldest. It's a sacrifice that I don't mind doing. I let the lawyer handled all our financial woes. All of the insurance money went to clearing debts and loans. To ensure that we don't have to worry about paying the monthly installment for the apartment, and two cars. I made sure the money our parents left us with, went to the boys' education, and utilities bills that will last us for the next five years.

I sat comfortably behind the counter, waiting for customer. I worked at this computer store during the day, six days a week, and I have another job at internet cafe in the evening, five days a week. Juggling two jobs, I hardly have free time at home. 

"How are you?" a voice asked, thus, shutting down my brain from doing all the unnecessary thinking. I lifted my head, and my gaze fell on my boss, Mr Choi. He's an old friend of our dad, and when he found out I was looking for a job, he offered this position to me. 

I smiled. "I'm good. Same old, same old."

He chuckled. He probably noticed my weak attempt at cheerful. "Take a break if you need to, and if you need to talk, I'm here. Always." He pat my back, and walked towards his office at the back of the store. 

I sighed. Every now and then, I would let my tears fall down, and let it wash away my pain. I miss our parents. My heart broke when I lost them, and it's getting worse, whenever I see the solemn faces of my brothers. How do I mend their hearts, when I couldn't even stop mine from breaking to pieces. 

I heard the door chimed, and an elderly couple walked in with who I assumed was their teenage daughter. I put my invisible happy mask on, and silently told myself to stop crying, repeatedly. I walked out from behind the counter. 

"Hello, good morning, Sir. Ma'am. Miss. My name is Jinu, what can I help you with?"

They turned to me with warm smiles. I miss our parents again.

Don't cry. Please. Don't cry. Stop crying.


	3. Hoon : Raining

Walking away from college was easy, what wasn't easy was fighting with Jinu over this. He was adamant that I should continue with my study. I've lost interest in study after I had my IGCSE. I knew it wasn't for me. The only reason I applied for college was because of my parents. I didn't talk with Jinu for a week because of this. 

"We can use our parents money for your college. Just please, carry on," he said.

I stared at him, and slowly said my piece. "Look. I'm not interested. I just want to dance, and sing. That's my only goal right now. If you're so fixated on this, why did you drop acting class, and dancing lesson?"

"Because I have to work!" He was furious. I could tell. Jinu didn't get angry easily, but, when he does, it can be intimidating. "I didn't even know what you've been doing lately. You dropped college, and still got home late."

I felt like the wall in the kitchen were closing in. It was suffocating. "You wouldn't know because you're barely at home. Why wouldn't you let us help you?"

"It's my responsibility to take care of my younger brothers!"

"Bullshit! As you said, we're brothers. We should be in this together. You're not supposed to handle everything on your own. I'm only few months younger than you! Why aren't you taking your lessons?"

"As I said, I have to work. Who would take care all of you?"

"Again, we're only few months apart. I'm 18 for goodness sake. You know what's your problem? whilst everyone change, you're still you. The same person you were when you stepped your feet in this house."

"What do you expect from me? my mother abandoned me! I can't let the same thing happen to you all!" Jinu stood up, and faced me. His face reddened from anger.

"Oh poor Jinu and his sob story. You know what? The person who gave birth to you abandoned you, your parents never did. They died in car crash! We're no longer in foster home. We stopped being that kid the day our parents adopted us four!" I took a deep breathe. "All I ask from you is stop treating us as if you're the only one who was grateful to our parents. As if I didn't have any responsibility in our family. That wasn't how our parents taught us. We were taught to talk things out, to never put your back towards your family. Guess what you've been doing? You did everything on your own, without discussing with us. We're not going to abandon each other, but, you neglecting us, is pretty similar to you abandoning us."

Jinu stood there, staring at the counter. I felt bad, but, it needed to be said. I walked out of the kitchen, and grabbed my coat. I left him in his own thoughts. I need to gather mine. 

It was raining when I reached the park near our apartment building. I put the hoodie on, and ignored the rain. I took a seat on my favourite bench, facing the lake. Deep down, I was thankful for the rain. It masked the tears that fell on my cheeks. I was on the verge of sobbing, when I noticed an umbrella above my head. 

"I don't want you to get sick," Jinu took a seat next to me. "Yes, I knew this is your spot."

I nodded my head, not knowing what to say. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I was too consume in my own grieve, I forgot that I have my brothers as my support system. I'm sorry I alienated you, Mino, and Yoon."

I sobbed. It pains me to hear him apologising, but, I knew, this is a small step to healing. We sat there in the rain, watching as the raindrops fell on the lake's surface. 


	4. Mino : My Bad

I'm here again, in mom's work room. Vague memory of five years old me, standing at the door, taking a peek at her work, entered my mind. It was a week after I was adopted. Mom realised my presence, and told me to came in. She gave me a paper and a box of crayon. For the first time since I was there, I opened up my mouth, and thanked her. I remembered her teary smile of happiness. Ever since that day, mom and I bonded over art. 

Losing mom and dad pained me. It gets harder everyday. I haven't talk to anyone for the last six weeks, since their death. Talking makes me miss them. Plus, my brothers were too busy coping with their own grieve. I wanted to talk to Yoon, but, I don't want to burden him. In the end, I've been shutting myself down, and expressing my emotions through my painting, and music. 

Sleep has been scarce these days. A restless sleep for an hour or two was all I could managed. The scene from that morning played in my head, like a while loop with a forgotten condition. It never stops. Every waking moment, I was bombarded with memory from that morning. I still could hear mom asking me what I wanted for my birthday. My stupid ungrateful self asked for recording equipments. If I didn't ask for that. They would still be alive. My brothers wouldn't be forced to repeat the same experience we had in foster care. 

I took a piece of paper, and started to write. Writing lyrics has become my solace. Seeing my angst, regrets, and sorrow, translated into words, comfort me a little. It eased the burden in my heart. 

_I did something absolutely unforgivable_

_I wipe off the sweat from my hands and write the message;_ _  
_ _My bad (I know it's my bad)_ _How many times do I have to say it, I know it's all my fault_ _Alright,_

_my bad (I know I know)..._

I heard knocking on the door, and Yoon peeked in. He came in, and looked around. I wanted to be alone. I can't face him. At least, not with this mounting guilt in my heart. 

"What do you want?" my voice sounded harsh, after being unused for over a month. I barely recognised it myself. 

He stopped his movement, and his gaze fell on me. I saw the pain in his eyes. I felt bad. I didn't mean to hurt him. Not Yoon. He's the sweetest. 

"I just miss you." His whisper was soft, but, it felt like a knife, stabbing me. I swear I could hear the crack in my heart. He smiled. A sad smile. "I'm sorry I disturb you," he walked out of the room, leaving me in daze. 

A vision of six years old Yoon flashed before my eyes. A timid little boy who my parents just adopted. I was adopted two years before when Yoon came. I love that boy instantly, and promised to always protect him. Yoon was so cute, following us around. The day he came to our life, I knew we were complete.

I could hear another crack, and felt another stab. I wept. I wept for the things I've done. I wept for my brothers. 


	5. Yoon : We Were

I stared at the poster my music teacher send me yesterday. It was for a singing competition at one of the major broadcasting company. The audition will be held in two weeks. I was still contemplating whether to go or not. I love singing, and I'd like to think I have an okay singing voice. I should give it a shot. Who knows, I might win, and I could help my brothers financially.

Life at home hasn't been great. Jinu has been busy with work. I hate that he's sacrificing his acting class for us. Hoon hasn't been home too. He's either working at the barbecue place, or dancing practice with his crew. Mino has been distance. After the disaster two days ago, when I came to see him at mom's work room, I stayed away. I didn't blame him. We're all struggling to cope with the lost. I knew he blame himself. He thought no one knew, but, he was wrong. I wanted to be there for him, but, he's shutting everyone down. Jinu, and Hoon were too busy to notice.

I took the poster again, and lied down on my bed. The loneliness and quiet in the apartment was slowly killing me. I felt restless. I grabbed my phone, and send a text message to my music teacher, Mr Shin, confirming my participation to him. He assured me it would do me good, and we made plan that he was going to accompany me for my audition.

I sat up, and took a seat at the edge of my bed. I grabbed my guitar, and opened my notebook. My fingers started strumming my guitar to the song I wrote two days ago. My voice was shaking when I sang the words. I cursed, and tried it again. 

_Actually, can you guess what I found yesterday?_   
_The photo of us that I thought disappeared was stuck at the end of the bed_   
  
_Back then we were smiling_   
_We looked really happy_   
_Up until now, we were just tears and shadows in my memories_   
  
_We were pretty_   
_When we met each other for the first time_   
_Even when we fought_   
_Oh, back then we were pretty_   
_Back then when only looking at each other made us happy_   
_Back then when we cried because we didn't want to say bye_   
_Oh, us back then_   
  
_Even though behind the memories of pain and frustration_   
_There are so many more beautiful moments_

"Did you write that?" 

I stopped playing immediately, and I saw Mino standing at the door. I was too immersed in my singing, I didn't realise he was there. I just nodded my head.

"That was beautiful. When did you write it?" He pulled a chair from my work desk, and sat in front of me. 

I shrugged, "it was nothing."

He took a deep breathe. "I'm sorry. That was wrong of me."

"That's okay. I'm fine," I brushed his apology off.

"Don't do that. I know I hurt you. I didn't mean it. I was just, there was too much in my head," he explained. "I shouldn't have take it on you."

I put my guitar aside, and sighed. "Do you want me to accept your apology?" I watched him nodded his head. "Stop blaming yourself."

He stared hard at me. "Excuse me?"

"I know you blame yourself for our parents death. It never was your fault. Things happened, and we're here. I felt like everyone was pulling away," I stopped for a moment, and saw the anguish in his face. "Don't blame yourself for something you can't control. I don't think mom and dad would want to see you beating yourself like this."

He gasped, and I saw tears at the corner of his eyes. He schooled his face, and faced me. "You don't know what you're talking about. I'm here to apologise, that's it." He stood up, and walked out.

I chased him, and called his name. There was a good four metres between us. He didn't turn around. "I wrote that song, two days ago. I miss my brothers. We were beautiful. We were happy. We were everything, but this." I choked on my own words.

He walked to his room, and slammed the door. I stood there. I put my facade on, whilst inside, my heart shattered into million pieces. Loneliness came knocking at my door, and I let it embraced me, as I felt my brothers left me, out here in the cold.   
  



	6. Jinu : Fool

It was Saturday. I expected both Yoon and Mino to be home. It was rare for us to have a meal together. Hell, it must've been the first time in the last three months. Mino was eating his cereal, and Hoon was making tomato juice, when Yoon came out, all dressed up in his skinny jeans, and striped shirt, carrying his guitar case. He styled his hair to one side, and accessorized it with a fedora. He placed his guitar case against the counter, and sat next to Mino. 

"Where are you going?" Hoon asked.

Yoon spread butter on his toast, and nonchalantly answered Hoon, "I have audition today."

Everyone stopped, and stared at our youngest brother, waiting for him to explain. He glanced up, and waved his hand, brushing off our enquiries. He proceed to eating his toast. He only stopped when he realised we haven't budge. He sighed.

"I have an audition for Super Singer at ZNet Station."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mino asked

"Where was I when you decided on this?" this time it was Hoon.

"Were you planning to ride a bus?" I asked.

Yoon pushed his chair back, and stood up. He drank his orange juice, and walked towards the fridge. We were still waiting. He took a bottle of Yoghurt, and put it inside his backpack. "To answer all your questions. Hoony hyung, I decided two weeks ago. Jinu hyung, no, Mr Shin will pick me up in few minutes, and he will accompany me. Mino, I didn't tell you, or anyone else in this house, because no one was talking to each other."

Yoon picked up his guitar, and headed towards the door. He stopped for a while, and turned back to face us. "I didn't want sympathy or anything. I'm a big boy. I just want my brothers back. For the last two months, I witnessed each one of you left me. It's like foster care all over again." There's a crack on his voice. "Can you just pray for my success?" He turned, and left.

I stood there, frozen, staring at the door. Mino and Hoon was quiet. I felt defeated. I recalled back everything that I've done for the last two months. On my day off, I would spend it with resting, and sleeping. There was barely a communication between all of us. I felt defeated. At that moment I finally realised that I've failed everyone. I've failed our parents, and my brothers.

I called out Mino and Hoon to follow me to the living room. I was determined to fix this. I wouldn't let my family crumble because of our inability to communicate. They both sat in front of me.

"I think you both heard Yoonie clearly. I'm sorry, I've been neglecting everyone. What good is having food on the table, or roof over my head, if I can't enjoy it with my brothers?"

"Hyung," Hoon started.

"No. Let me talk. Yes, I finally shared the responsibility with you, Hoony, but, I still owe Mino and Yoonie. I was a fool. I should've noticed when Mino and Yoon pulled away. We're all in a hard place, I admit that. We all grieved, but, that wasn't a good excuse. We should've stick together, and be there for each other." I stopped for a while. I couldn't stop my tears from pouring down. "I promise you, this wouldn't happen again. I want all of you to be comfortable enough to come and see me, and talk to me."

Hoon nodded. After our long talk under the rain a month ago, things has been better between us. I glanced at Mino. I couldn't read his face. He just sat there stoically. I made a mental note to ask Hoon to talk to Mino, whilst I talk to Yoon.

I may be a fool, but, I wouldn't let myself be a fool again. I'm owning to my mistakes. I'll always be there for my brothers. I wouldn't let them experience foster care again.


	7. Hoon : Go Up

It was my day off that Sunday. Not even a dancing schedule. I was just lazying around at home, lying across the couch, in the living room, whilst channel surfing. I stopped when I saw ZNet, and it reminded me of Yoon. It has been a week since Yoon's audition. I remembered him coming home with a broad smile. It was a wake up call for me. A reminder of my goal in this life: to never let my brothers' smiles turn into a frown. He was excited when he told us that he got through, and proceed to the next stage. I swore, my heart swell with pride at that moment. Whilst we were busy feeling sorry for ourselves, our youngest brother stepped up, and strived. 

I took out my mobile phone, and reread the text message Jinu send me. "Don't forget to talk to Mino". Two hours later, I was still thinking of ways to approach him, and how to broach the topic. I was just closing my eyes for a moment, when I heard the sound from the TV. I immediately sat up, and studied the announcement on the TV. I grinned. I think I found a way. 

I knocked on Mino's door. No answer. I knocked it again. Harder, and louder. I was about to knock again, as he opened the door. I grinned. He gave me a questioning look. Instead of answering him, I made my way inside his room. I sat on his bed. Mino crossed his arms, and stood in front of me. 

"I need help, and before you say no, I can assure you, you're the only one who can help me, " I flashed him an impish grin, silently praying he would say yes. 

He sighed, and pulled a chair from his work desk. He sat there, facing me. "What kind of help?"

"Teach me how to rap!"

He stared at me incredulously. "Excuse me? Did you just say you want me to teach you to rap?"

I nodded eagerly. "I wasn't talking about Ice Cube, or Pac, or Eazy E. Just teach me some basic skills."

He cursed under his breath. "Why?"

I flashed him another charming smile. Well, I hope it was charming enough. "I saw announcement on CBC just now. There'll be a new talent show called PopStar in early September. That's about two months from now."

He gawked at me. "Are you for real? What is wrong with everyone in this family? First, Yoonie joined Super Star, and now you?"

"Hush, you simpleton. We called this leveling up." I brushed him off. "The real question is, are you going to teach me? or do I need to beg from your friend Zico?"

"Don't you dare, hyung. Fine, I'll teach you."

"when do we start?" 

He let go an exaggerated sigh. "Not today. Tomorrow?"

I grinned. "Now shake on it." I grabbed his hand, and shook it with mine. I quickly left his room, before he changed his mind.

Operation talking to Mino was a success. In my head, I was silently patting myself at the back. I just need time to spare, so I could spend more time with him. Then only I could bring out our concern to him. I checked my working roster, and worked on my dancing schedule. 

From today onwards, I'll only look at what's in front of me. I'm moving forward, and I hope my brothers would too. We can't forever be at the bottom. We need to pull ourselves together, and keep on going up. 


	8. Mino : Remember

I've been spending a lot of time with Hoon. For the last two weeks, I became his teacher, guidance, mentor, hell, whichever you want to call it. Although, at times, I was confused with our roles. I read what he has written for me.

_My gun is always pointed to the top_   
_So I can shoot the ones who are bigger than me_   
_I'll treat this stage like a landing strip_   
_So I can jump with a flashy flight_   
_I'm not born with it so my constant effort is my weapon_   
_They say that still waters run deep and grow more_   
_Going over the black lines I drew with my_   
_Pen in front of my door when I was young_

I smiled. The progress he made within these two weeks was tremendous. He just needs to work on his diction, and his flows. He has always been hardworking.

"Jinu and I are going to see Yoonie on his first stage this Friday. Are you coming?" Hoon asked me.

I was taken aback. "Why wouldn't I come?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. It seems you're not talking to Yoonie these days."

A heavy silence fell upon the room. My heart bleed. I miss Yoon. I miss talking to him, teasing him, and making music with him. We were so close, that he could read me easily. That scared me. The amount of guilt for him was mounting, every single day.

"Of course I would come." My voice was gruff. I hope Hoon would drop the subject.

"What's up with you two anyway?" he asked. He didn't look at me. He was busy writing something on my work table.

"What do you mean?"

He pushed the chair out, and threw the pen across the room. I stared hard at him. "Cut the crap. We're all hurting. Is this how you want to live your life? To think of mom and dad.. "

"Don't you dare bringing mom and dad," I cut him off.

"or what? you're going to ignore me just like you did Yoon? Can you stop being selfish for a second. I get it, you're hurting. We all are! The least you can do is talk to Yoon. Give him moral support. This wasn't how our parents taught us!"

"I screwed up okay?"

"We all screwed up. One way or another."

"Mom and dad died because of me! Are you satisfied now?"

Hoon walked towards me. He grabbed my shirt's collar, and pulled me up from my sitting position. We're now face to face, with him just few inches taller. "What bullcrap is this?" he asked.

I returned his stare. "If they didn't go out to buy my presents, they would still be alive."

"Are you fucking kidding me? was this the reason why you're distancing yourselves from everyone?"

"You saw it! You saw my recording equipments in the car trunk, when the police showed us the car!" I yelled at him.

He laughed hysterically. "No they did not. They died because of a careless truck driver. It has nothing to do with your birthday present. That isn't how it works. God. I can't believe you've been beating yourself because of this. Do you think our parents would blame you? Do you think Jinu hyung blamed you? Do you think Yoon blamed you? Do you think I blamed you? No! No one did." He faced me. "You can be an idiot!"

My hands curled and tightened into fists. How dare he belittled my feelings.

"Mino-yah. I know you're angry now. Please understand this, what happened to our parents, was out of our control. Cherished every memories we had with them, and live your life without guilt. Do you think abandoning your brothers would help lessened the guilt? I know you have the answers. I bet right now, the guilt is more because of how you treat Yoon, and less because of our parents death."

He gave me a quick hug, whilst I stood there, frozen. He left my room, leaving me with unanswered questions. No. That was a lie. I knew the answers. I knew the answers all along, and Hoon was right. These days, the guilt of hurting and abandoning Yoon, and my attempt of justifying my action were the things that I thought of in my every waking hour.

I took a seat in my work table, and noticed Hoon wrote a line below my lyrics.

_I run, run for my life_   
_Save me, I don't want to be forgotten_   
_My heart hurts, remember_

_That somebody was there by your side_

I noticed the tear drops fell on the paper. It was my tears. I grabbed my phone, and send text message.

Me : Hey, how's your practice? wanna grab some lunch?  
Yoon : Yes!! Where do you want to go?  
Me : That sushi place we went to on your 16th birthday, remember?  
Yoon : I remember, I'll see you there.

I smiled. I also remember him loving the sushi there.


	9. Yoon : Love Me Love Me

I tore the month August from the calendar. I smiled at the sight of September across the page in bold font. It has been five months, and we had our ups and down. We're on our way to healing, and mending our relationship. Mino and I had a long talk over lunch. Things weren't back to before. It would be hard to go back to those days, well, I doubt I want to. One thing for sure, things have been far better. We talked about our concerns and issues with each other, instead of keeping it in. Jinu has been a great support system. Hoon was a bit busy in preparing for his audition to Popstar. Mino was our sounding board, telling us what went wrong with our performance. I guess the things that healed my heart the most was seeing them at the front row of the arena every single week, watching me compete with contestants older than me.

I grabbed my phone, and lied down on my bed. I browsed through every Super Singer forum I could find. The amount of hate comments I received was starting to get into me. The comments varies from cocky sixteen years old, to untalented singer with subpar vocals, to trying too hard. It was hard to swallow. I should've ignored all these comments, but, I keep on gravitating to it, checking every single thread for comments about me. Don't get me wrong, I read the good comments too. I appreciate those who overlooked the show editing, and able to see the real me beyond the show. I guess it was human nature to be affected by negativity.

"Don't tell me you're reading those hate comments again."

I sat up, and glanced towards the door, only to see Mino leaning against the doorframe. I ignored his remarks, and put away my phone.

"Jinu hyung! Come here, I caught Yoonie reading hate comments!" Mino yelled.

"I was not!" I protested, without any confidence. I was caught redhanded.

Jinu approached us, and stood next to Mino. He gave me a stern look. "Stop doing that. It will only hurt you, and do you no good," he reprimanded me. "or else, I'll confiscate your phone."

I gasped. "You would not."

"Oh. Try me." Another familiar voice butted in.

Now all my three brothers were in my room. I was still sitting on the edge of my bed, whilst my brothers stood in front of me.

"Focus on the positive. Stop reading those comments, it will affect you. Do you want that to affect your performance? Let me be frank here, the judges were buttholes, and mean to you. You eating up all these comments wouldn't do you any good," Hoon advised me.

Jinu sat next to me, and put his arm around my shoulder. "Now turn the negative into positive. Show them what you got. Let them eat their words."

Mino sat on the other side, and nudged my shoulder with his. "Once the show will be over, everyone will see the real you. Let me tell you, they'll fall in love with you."

"Are we done? Because dinner is getting cold." Everyone turned to Hoon, and nodded. I watched as my brothers left my room, leaving the door open.

I forced a smile, trying to digest everything. Was it really easy to love me? I still have my doubt. The thing that bothered me the most the fact that Mino was spot on. I tried to silently deny it. My brain was actively denying it, but, my heart made the decision for me. Perhaps, Mino was right. It was validation that I craved. Being left in the foster care, and the youngest, made me craved for validation from everyone else. I was hell bent in changing all my flaws, and mistakes, pointed out in all the comments, all because I want to be loved, and to be admired. What I failed to realise was, I could fix my mistakes, but I couldn't fix my flaws if I was too immersed in this, and letting the hate comments got into me. The only way to fix my flaws was hardwork and determination.

I rubbed my nape, easing the tension. I walked out of my room with new outlook, and newfound strength.


	10. Jinu : Luxury

My heart broke. I watched my youngest brother on the stage, smiling widely, even though the host just announced that he was eliminated. My heart hurt for him, but, at the same time, there's a sense of pride. The fact that he was able to get his strength even after our parents' death, and the turmoil in our family, was admirable. At times, I envy his determination. To be honest, we all knew he could sing, but what we witnessed was just the surface. His potential was slowly revealed in this show, as he scratched the surface every single week. 

I turned to Mino, and he had a proud smile across his face, whilst his eyes were teary. I turned to Hoon, and just like the other Yoon's supporters, he cheered him, whilst occasionally talking to the middle age couple next to him. I vaguely heard him telling them that we're so proud of Yoon, our baby brother. 

"Your audition is next week, are you ready to have all eyes on you, like Yoonie?" I asked Hoon.

He grinned. "I'm always ready. Even if I don't get through, I'll find another way. If you look hard enough, you'll find the route to success."

I gawked at Hoon. Sometime I wonder, for someone who was only few months younger than me, he's wise beyond his age. He definitely was the pillar in our family. 

"He can rap now," Mino chimed in.

Hoon laughed. "Are you intimidated, lil bro?"

Mino waved his hand, brushing off Hoon. "Meh. You can't beat the master."

I chuckled. I'm grateful for Yoon. He made us realised our mistakes. I watched as my two brothers bickered with each other. We were just waiting for the show to end, so that we could go backstage to Yoon. 

It was 30 minutes later, when we were finally able to have access to the backstage, and meet Yoon. 

"Guys, I'm sorry I lost," he said after all the huggings we did. 

Mino wrapped his arm around Yoon's shoulder. "You silly boy. You're a star. We're so proud of you."

I nodded. "Mino is right. You did a great job. You're so talented, I'm pretty sure there'll be people from record label coming for you."

Yoon scoffed the idea, saying it was nonsense. I listened to him pointing out the better singers in the competition. Mino teased Yoon, Hoon teased them both, Mino and Yoon ganged up on Hoon. I just laughed at their antics. It wasn't because I was feeling left out. This was just us being ourselves, and the dynamic in our relationship. Back then, I would just watched them, and occasionally dropping my opinions. Now, I just stood there, watching all the banters, thankful for having these three amazing people I could call my brothers. 

"Are we going to stay here, or are we leaving?" I chimed in. They were getting louder, I was afraid, it will annoy others. I wouldn't want another bad comment for my brother.

Yoon grabbed his bags, and bade farewell to the other remaining contestants and staffs. There was a lot of hugging, high five, and well wishes. I smiled proudly. As I keep on telling him, anyone who knows him, will fall for his charm. Hate comments be damned. 

We decided to go for a late supper. Hoon drove the car, whilst I sat quietly next to Yoon at the back. As we reached the noodle restaurant, I let them ordered the food, and assured them that I would pay. Everyone was in a good mood. I took out my phone, and called for the waiter to take a picture of us four. I wasn't normally a social media person. I didn't really understand the purpose, but, this time, I wanted to. I post the picture, and tagged my brothers, and wrote the caption, 'my definition of luxury'.


	11. Hoon : Just Dance

I didn't expect the audition to be this hard. To be honest, it was easier to give up, and go home. The wait line itself was already killing me. I calmed my nerves when they called my name. I put my game face on, and entered the room. 

I stood a good 3 metres away from the judges table. I schooled my thoughts, not letting the presence of four famous figures in front of me to affect my performance. I studied the expressions of each one of them, a record label owner, a talented producer, a famous rapper, and a well known singer. I introduced myself, and started to rap, and sing. 

"Your voice is mediocre, it needs more brushing up. Your rap was better than your singing, which doesn't mean a lot," the record label owner, Mr Yang commented my performance. 

"I can dance." I wasn't ready to give up.

Mr Yang chuckled, and said quietly, although, I could hear it loud and clear, "here goes another one thinking he can dance."

I played the music from my phone, and started dancing. An impromptu freestyle dance. They could critique my vocal, and rap. I knew my capabilities. What they couldn't look down was my dance skill. Once the music stop, I ended my dance performance. I looked up, and watched four faces staring at me in awe. 

Mr Yang cleared his throat. "That was beautiful." 

The singer, Eight, leaned back, and folded his arms. "If we let you go through to the next stage, would you be able to improve your vocal and rap?"

I nodded eagerly. I was ecstatic.

PIE, the famous rapper, chuckled. "Keep working to improve. I was told I couldn't do it, but hey, I made it."

I thanked them, and ran to the next section. I went through two more auditions, to secure my place for the live broadcast rounds. In all stages, I wowed everyone with my dancing.

I went home feeling knackered. I unlocked the door, expecting everyone was asleep. After all it was almost 1am. I entered the apartment, and found my brothers rushing towards me, with question marks on their faces. Literally. 

"I hope that wasn't permanent." I commented.

"Face paint," Mino answered quickly. "How did you do, hyung?"

"Let's just say that you'll be seeing me on stage."

My brothers went wild with happiness. They hugged me, then, hugged each other. Jinu was laughing, Mino was dancing, and Yoon was hyping him.

I saw a plethora of junk food on the coffee table in the living room. I gave them a questioning look.

Mino and Jinu looked at each other, and laughed. They brushed me off. Then Yoon explained the whole thing. "If you didn't make it, we thought these food would comfort you, and if you made it, it'll be a celebration."

I whined, "can't we have fried chicken instead for my celebration? I don't want those." I pointed to the foods.

Mino nudged my side. "Hyung, beggars can't be choosers. Just eat it. If you want something heavier, Yoonie can cook some ramyeon for you."

Yoon widened his eyes in protest of Mino's suggestion.

We spend the remaining of the night eating junk food, and telling them my experience. We only made it to our room at around 3:30 am. Before I close my eyes to sleep, I was reminded of dad. He encouraged me to dance. According to him, he saw my potential, and he could tell how dancing helped me with my emotions. It was hard for me to let go of my pent up anger towards my birth father. Dance calmed me. Just dance. That's what he told me. 

"Yes dad. Just dance. Watch me dance on a bigger stage."


	12. Hoon : Different

It's been two weeks since I was eliminated from PopStar, after two months of intense competition. To last until top 4 was amazing, and beyond my expectation. I have faith in my dancing skills, but, I acknowledged that I was lacking vocal wise. The weekly critics was a double edge sword, it could either demotivate you, or boost your confidence up. I have my moments of ups and downs. I cried when it was announced during the live broadcast, that I was eliminated. Then I saw my brothers at the front row, smiling proudly, and cheering me up. I was comforted. By the end of the day, I will always have my brothers.

I sat on the recliner, whilst waiting for my brothers to come to the living room. I send text message to everyone, informing them of an impromptu family meeting. That was ten minutes ago, and I haven't seen any of them. I was about to send another text message, when Jinu entered the apartment.

"What's with the emergency meeting? I was at the groceries store," he said. He placed his purchases on the coffee table, and took a seat at the end of the couch. 

Yoon entered the living room whilst rubbing his eyes, and yawning, making it obvious he just woke up. "Yoon-ah, the least you can do, is wear a shirt. Don't offend my eyes with your scrawny body," I motioned for him to turned back to his room. He grunted, and stomped back in. "Wash your face, for goodness sake"

It was ten minutes later when Yoon appeared back. Mino came last. When asked, his answer was he was busy sketching. Yoon took a seat next to Jinu, whilst Mino sat on the floor, and went through Jinu's purchases. 

"Hello brothers," I started. All eyes on me. "As you know, I've placed fourth in PopStar, and Yoonie too, in Super Singer. I was thinking, perhaps, Mino, Jinu, and I could form a group. We could record our demo, and send it to record labels. What do you think?"

Mino agreed almost immediately, whereas, Jinu was reluctant. "What would I bring to the table? I can't dance like Hoony, or sing like Yoonie. What good would I be?" he implored. 

"Hyung, you have beautiful voice, and you can work on your dance more. It's not you're a bad dancer. You just lack practice. Once you practice more, you'll get the hang of it. Yoonie can show you vocal techniques," I answered him. Mino nodded, agreeing with me. We turned to Yoon, who has been strangely quiet.

"Why would you need me here?" Yoon asked. 

"why wouldn't you be here? this is a family thing."

He scoffed. "Family thing my butt."

I stood up and went towards him. "What is wrong with you? There's no need to be rude. If you want to be excluded, go ahead."

Jinu stood up, and tried to calm me. "Let's just proceed with the meeting, okay you two?"

Yoon stood up, and faced me. "Look who's talking! Do you even hear yourself?"

"Maybe we should take a break?" Jinu suggested.

I ignored him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Yoon walked away, then stopped. He let out an exasperated sigh, as if, he was tired of us. I was getting angrier with his attitude. 

"I didn't want to be excluded, but, you were the one who excluded me. You formed a group, just the three of you. As if I didn't exist."

Mino stood up, and placed himself in the middle, between Yoon and I. "He has a point," he said to me.

"You received many offers from record labels. You don't need to be in this group!" I explained the obvious to him. I didn't get why he was angry. 

"As I said, I didn't want to be excluded, but, you made the decision for me. You didn't even consider having me in the group. I was never in the equation."

"He's right," Mino chimed in. 

I gave Mino a stern look. "You have many offers, why would not being in this group bothers you so much? We're on different level!"

Yoon closed his eyes for few seconds, before answering me softly, "because, I want to perform with my brothers. I want to make music with my brothers. Is that so hard to understand? I just didn't expect you to see me differently. What's the difference between you and those hate comments?"

I watched him slammed his door. The silence followed was deafening, I could hear the beating of my heart, hurling against my ribcage. What have I done? In my eagerness to move forward, I alienated my own brother. 


	13. Mino : Agree

I leaned against Yoon's door, trying to catch up the conversation inside the room. After the meeting fiasco yesterday, things didn't sit well with us. Jinu was the first one to talked to Yoon. When he was done, he walked out smugly, and told Hoon to start groveling. I could hear the sound of television from the living room. Jinu was watching K-Drama, as if that was more important than the drama happening right now.

It was ten minutes later when Hoon walked out. I wanted to ask questions, but I stopped when I saw Hoon's red puffy eyes. He obviously has been crying. I knocked on Yoon's door. Yoon was sitting on his bed, his leg dangling at the edge of the bed. I sat next to him.

"I'm sorry," I started.

"Why?" he asked.

"For everything. For excluding you out."

He nodded his head. "I want in."

"Are you sure?" He answered my question with a growl. "Woah. Easy there tiger. Yes, you're sure" I grinned at him.

We sat in silence, before he opened up to me. "Hoony hyung apologised." He stopped for a while. I let him tell his story in his own pace. "He said he just thought it would be wise for me to go solo. I have better chance to be successful. Yes, he could be right, but, I'm also greedy. I want a solo career, I'm not going to lie. I also want to be with my brothers."

"So, how do you plan to do that?"

He smiled. "It'll work out. Now, We just need to work for our demo. Don't you think?"

I immediately agreed. Although we have different taste in music, with me leaning more towards hip hop, and Yoon being the certified rocker that he was, we worked well. I always appreciate his input whenever I asked him to listen to my music, and he always asked for my input too. 

Later that day, we met again in the living room. We sat on the floor, around the coffee table, throwing ideas here and there. This time we brainstormed our names, concept, and logo.

"Okay, so how many songs are we going to include in the demo?" Jinu asked. 

"Shall we go for two?" I asked. 

Yoon disagreed. "Let's delegate task first. What do you think?"

"What do you proposed?" Hoon asked.

Yoon took out his notebook. He opened up to a page full of his scribblings. "Mino, would you like to be in-charge on the logo and cover designs, and our clothings?" 

I nodded. He ticked my name on his notebook. I grinned. Baby brother came prepare. 

He continued. "Hoony hyung, you will be handling the performance. Choreograph every single movement." Yoon stopped, and turned his focus on Jinu. "Jinu hyung, you'll prepare the video camera, and focus on video editing. As for me, I'll handle the producing of the songs. Now what do you think of that? Do we have agreement or not?"

I was impressed. I guess we all were. He didn't just delegate the tasks for the sake of fairness. He knew our strength, and focus on that. "You've thought about this, haven't you?" 

He grinned. "Mino, why don't you give me your best songs, and I'll prepare mine too. We need to have at least four best songs. Songs that will fit and show all of our vocal tones, and personalities. Something that is distinct enough that could set us apart from others."

"Now, how about the name?" Jinu asked. 

Hoon raised his left hand. "I might have an idea," he said hesitantly. I gave him a smile of encouragement. "How about we call ourselves Ace? You know, like, if we play card game, Ace is the highest, right?" He looked at us, waiting for approval. Jinu told him to go on. "I mean, we want to be the best, to be on top. Why not use Ace? Am I making sense?"

The immediate reaction from us was about five seconds of silence, before we burst into laughters. Everyone agreed on the name, and praising Hoon for his well thought idea. 

An idea of a logo design started to form in my head. I turned to a new page in my sketchbook. I quickly sketched the letter A, that looks like the number four. I tweaked it here and there, making it stood out. I coloured the letter with a blue, and use yellow as the outline. I showed it to my brothers. "What do you think? Since there's four of us, it'll be sweet to have a subtle hint there." I looked at them, nervously waiting for approval.

"Mino, you're a genius," Yoon said, smiling in awe. His eyes never leaving my drawing.

Hoon nodded. "That's awesome, Mino-yah. We should use that." My heart swell with pride. 

Jinu patted my back. "Good job, but, that's not the final design, right?"

I laughed. "Of course not, hyung. I'm going to make it prettier. This is just a demo." 

He let go a sigh of relief. "One more thing," we all turned to him. "I think Yoonie should be our leader."

Yoon stared at Jinu in open-mouthed shock. Hoon and I immediately agreed. What's there to question. He may be the youngest, but, he's driven and hardworking. Okay, that was a stretch. He could be very lazy, but, he always step up when he needed to. We knew he could lead us well, and he showed us exactly that when he delegated our tasks. Agreeing to Jinu's suggestion was a no brainer.


	14. Jinu : SoSo

We have turned mom's workroom as our studio, and the living room as our dance floor. We plastered the walls of the studio with thick blankets, and covered them with egg cartons. Enough to have soundproof and eliminate echoes. We installed mirrors on the wall of our living room, so we could see our movements. We had fun preparing all that. It was the next stage that got into me. 

I've never considered myself as a singer. I have a quite decent voice, I guess, but, it was nothing to write home about. I can dance, but, again, a mediocre dancer. Yoon couldn't dance to save his life, but, the way he keeps on improving was astonishing. Hoon went from scolding him for his two left feet, to praising him. I was still an-okay. There was no progress on my part. 

These days, I haven't been sleeping much. I was either working, or practicing - dancing and singing. Nothing in between. I didn't want to be the reason of my brothers' failure. I need to step up, for them, and for me. Every night, I would practice my steps, in front of the mirror, until wee hours. 

"Hyung, are you okay?" Yoon asked me. 

I looked up from the lyrics on my lap. "Yes. Why?"

"I haven't seen you laugh much."

I nodded. "I'm okay." I continued practicing the song he wrote. He showed me the melody for my lines, and I was just trying to perfect it. 

"If you're not okay, you would tell me, right?"

He was starting to get on my nerves. "Cut it off, will you?"

"I was just looking out for you. You look tense. I didn't know whether you're happy or sad. You didn't share with us how you feel. You neither laugh, or cry. How am I supposed to know that you're okay?"

I looked up at him. I was tired. "You want the truth? I don't know okay. I don't know! Should I laugh? should I cry? It's one of those feelings, you know. You just can't describe it in words, but, it's there." I took a deep breathe, before continuing. "I'm not weak. Well, at least I'd like to think that I'm not. I'm just... I just.. don't know, okay?"

He nodded. "Hyung, take a break. Go out, and enjoy the day. Don't pressure yourself. This isn't suppose to take the joy out of you. What we're doing, it's supposed to be fun."

"It's easy for you to say. You're a good vocalist, I'm not. Mino can rap, I can't. Hoon is a good dancer, I'm just so so. I have nothing. No skill, no talent," I protested. Hoping he knows where I'm coming from.

He moved his chair closer to me. "Hyung, you know what I love the best when we sing? It's the contrast of my baritone, and your tenor. This is something that rare in pop music. Don't ever think your role is insignificant, or your skills is just so so." He chuckled. "Bye the way, that's from your leader."

I laughed at him. He's right. I definitely need to work on my self confidence. I've always had mom and dad, providing me with moral support. Ever since they were gone, I was lost. Seeing how my brothers excel with their skills, and talents, had a great effect on my confidence. It dwindled down so fast, I didn't even realise it. I silently promised to myself, to work harder, and make my brothers proud of me. 


	15. Yoon : Instinctively

I welcomed the new year with another record label offer, but, this time, I was interested. It wasn't because they offered more money. This label offered me something that others didn't dare to do so : training to hone my skill. I needed that. I was still young, almost 17, and I knew I was still lacking. The only way for me to feel satisfied would be to fix my flaws, and to do that, I need more training. I didn't want to be comfortable with my current self. I still have a long way to go.

I went to see Mr Yang at his office with my manager, Mr Cho. They were discussing my contract when I blurted it out. Just like them, I was surprised too.

"Excuse me, what did you say?" Mr Yang asked me.

I cleared my throat, and repeat what I unconsciously said before. "Would you consider my brothers too?"

"Consider them for what?"

"Consider signing them too."

Mr Cho wasn't having it though. He told me to keep quiet, and explained to Mr Yang that I wasn't serious.

Mr Yang brushed him off. "No, I think he was dead serious. Do explain."

I wasn't sure whether he was mocking me, or not, but, I kept going. "You see, my brothers and I, we have a group, called Ace. There's four of us. I'm the main vocalist, and producer. Then we have Kim Jinwoo, the lead vocalist. We have two rappers. Song Minho, he's an underground rapper, and also produces songs with me. Another one, you must've known him. Lee Seunghoon, he's a contestant in PopStar. He's our choreographer."

Mr Yang held his hand up, indicating for me to stop. "I thought you said brothers, but, you have different family name."

I smiled proudly. "We're adopted from the foster home and orphanage when we were young."

He nodded his head. "So, that was why I saw you in the audience during PopStar." He stood up, and walked towards the window. He asked for some time to think it through.

Whilst he was thinking, Mr Cho was giving me death stare, and rapidly typing on the phone. I knew he was sending me text message. I felt the vibrations in my pocket. I refused to budge. I wouldn't let him kill this momentum. I'm on a roll. My instinct told me he's going to give me a full blown lecture after this, or worst case scenario, he would drop me.

It took a good ten minutes of Mr Yang standing in front of the windows, whilst texting to someone, for him to finally decide. He sat in front of us. Which was a relieve for me. I was getting annoyed by Mr Cho constant death stare.

"How about if I give you a stipulation?"

I leaned forward. Waiting for him to say it out loud, whatever it is he had in mind. "I will not sign your brothers, but, I will let them have individual audition with me, and you need to send me your group's demo. Plus, I like Lee Seunghoon"

I smiled. "Fair enough. I can assure you that you wouldn't be disappointed."

He returned my smile. "I'm still interested in signing you though. Since you brought your brothers in, I need to see their potential first. You saw how big and successful Explosion was. We have a reputation to keep up. You feel me?"

I nodded. Explosion was the label's first and only boy group, and their talent was no joke. We ended the meeting with an agreement, and a promise for audition. He told me to set an appointment for audition with his personal assistant.

Mr Cho gave me a lengthy lecture about my carelessness during the drive home. I couldn't help it. My response was instinctively. It wasn't planned. I still have no regret. It's just another step towards our dream.


	16. Mino : Teaser

I wouldn't lie, and say I wasn't nervous. It was easier for Yoon since the record label wanted him. He was a sure in, with or without us. Hoon had an advantage too since he was in PopStar, and auditioned for Mr Yang before. The fact that Mr Yang was rooting for him during the competition was a plus point too. For Jinu and I, it was a battle of life and death. I watched Yoon helping Jinu warming up his vocal, whilst trying to calm my nerves. By the time the audition room was opened, and Hoon stepped out, I was feeling a bit calmer. Hoon squeezed my arm encouragingly, Jinu gave me two thumbs up, and Yoon did a little fighting cheer. I smiled nervously.

Sat in front of me was Mr Yang, the rap group Epika, a rapper and a vocalist from Explosion. I cleared my throat, and wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans.

"I heard you're an underground rapper," Mr Yang started.

I nodded. "Yes. My name is Song Minho. I went by Hugeboy Mino. Well, usually it's just Mino."

"I see. Why don't you start."

I took a deep breathe. Then started doing a Rap Acapella on my most recent song.

_I am freshly born again_   
_This calculating rap is technology_   
_When teletubbies take over the TV at your house_   
_I'm the Pavarotti that makes the princesses sleepless_   
_Say ho ho ho bow wow_   
_I took off and threw away my leash_   
_I'll dig only at one spot, I'll be a star in the sky now_   
_You'll uselessly dig, lay down and just count the stars in the sky_   
_They say a mother's hand is medicine but oh my_   
_My hands are magic, A drenched t-shirt_   
_A rising curve drawn out by sweat marks_

Mr Yang raised his hand for me to stop. They whispered amongst each other. Then he turned back to me. "Do another one."

I was on a roll, and did another song, with different flow, to show them my flexibility.

_Since I learned several things, I don't know limits_   
_U kna me? A spring day is gone_   
_4 years after having gone through many hardships, nice day have come_   
_This is the timing Who dare stop me_   
_I'm steamed up my back is erupting and horn is growing_   
_Who step on me my daily life is thrifty_   
_If I have pen on my hand, I'm millionaire_   
_Even crazy delightfulness become serious with one snatch of rap man_

He raised his hand again. He wrote something on his notebook, whilst the others were whispering amongst themselves. I was a nervous wreck. He glanced up, and grinned. "Thank you Song Minho. Now please call in the last brother for me."

I thanked them, and bade farewell. I went out, and let Jinu in. Yoon and Hoon were bombarding me with questions, that I didn't even know how to start answering them. I told them that I will them everything later, since Jinu was still inside, and I wasn't about to repeat my story.

I silently prayed we will get this contract. We worked hard on our demo CD and DVD, and we've been preparing like crazy for the audition. Jinu practiced extra hours for this. Hell I doubt he even went to sleep. Even Hoon went crazy nervous, because it was his second audition with Mr Yang, and he wanted to show him that he has improved.

After the audition we went to grab a quick bite. We exchanged stories about our auditions. Yoon analysed each situation, and came up with multiple theories, and Hoon retorted back with his rather too realistic views. I played the devil's advocate against Hoon's views, whereas Jinu keep on coming up with strange observations. For four individuals with strong personalities, how we were able to tolerate and understand each other throughout the years still amazed me. I doubt I would survive without them. As for today, perhaps, it was just a teaser for a new beginning.


	17. Yoon : I'll Write You A Letter

**_Dear Mom,_ **

**_I miss you. Sometime I wonder how did I survive for almost a year without your love and attention. It pains me, and I miss you each day. Mino_ ** **_once_ ** **_told me that just because you're gone now, it doesn't mean your love_ ** **_will be_ ** **_gone too. I guess he's right. I can still feel your love_ ** **_and presence_ ** **_from my brothers._ **

**_I vaguely remember the day you and dad came to the orphanage. I'm_ ** **_forever_ ** **_thankful that in a sea_ ** **** **_full of children, you noticed me, and brought me home with you._ ** **_You gave me family. You_ ** **_gave me three brothers that loves me, just as much as you and_ ** **_dad did._ ** ****

**_We're going to embark on a new journey soon. I know you and dad will always watch over us. I love you mom. After this, I may not be able to write to you everyday, but, I will try my best. I will work hard to make you proud of me. I will work hard so that you wouldn't regret your decision when you adopted me. I will show everyone what I'm made of._ **

**_Dear Dad,_ **

**_I miss you. I miss your guidance. Help me in making this decision. Is this the right path? Please assure me that I'm not making any mistake. Show me that everything will be okay._ **

**_I love you dad. I'm proud to be your son. I want you to be proud of me too. Oh, hey dad, bless us in our next journey, yes?_ **

**_Dear Mom and Dad,_ **

**_I miss you both. I promise you, one day, I'll write you a song, and it'll be playing on the radio. I'll let the_ ** **_whole_ ** **_world meet the most amazing people on earth. Two amazing human who didn't listen to others, and proceed to adopt four little boys from the orphanage and foster care. You ARE forever my hero. Yes, both of you._ **

**_I have to go now, but, I'll write soon._ **

**_Love,_ **   
**_Forever your youngest son._ **   
**_Seungyoonie. <3_ **


	18. Movie Star

** Jinu **

_Immersing into emotion, getting the spotlight_   
_The red light on the camera is on_   
_For us, everything becomes a masterpiece_

I closed the door of my room, carrying my luggage bag, and backpack out. This place has always been my home. I barely remember the orphanage, and foster family I had before mom and dad brought me to this place. I smiled at the memory. I will cherished them forever.

It is time for a new beginning. It wouldn't be easy, I knew that, but then again, nothing in life is easy. I'll get through this. I promised myself that I will walk out of here a better person, with mounting determination.

** Hoon **

_When elders asked me about my dream before_   
_I wanted to become the president, a judge, and a celebrity_   
_But in reality I became an extra_   
_One late night, I got put in a van_   
_All of my childhood dreams have gone somewhere_   
_When I wanted to shine, everyone was shining_

I closed the door of the apartment, and walked towards the lift. I stopped, and turned around. One last glance at the black door apartment that has been my home since I was seven. I wonder if the new tennant that was renting our place would feel the comfort and love there, just as much I had.

A fresh start with a new hope. This time, I would shine with everyone else. It doesn't matter how hard the journey would take, I would endure them all. I promised that I will comeback to this apartment after five years, as a successful person.

** Mino **

_We can't help but make mistakes, that's not wrong_   
_It might've been a rehearsal_   
_In their glamorous movie, the CG is obvious_   
_We might look shabby but I believe that it'll be heartfelt_

I walked out of the apartment building, carrying two luggage bags, a backpack, and a sling bag. I'm surely going to miss this place. This place gave me hope for a better tomorrow. This place will forever be my home. I reminisced the time dad taught me how to ride the bicycle, right at the playground few metres away. I got a little teary.

I tore the old pages of my book of life, detailing my mistakes and fear, and put it in a box. I buried it somewhere, deep in my mind. No, I wasn't denying my past mistakes. It will forever tainted my heart, like a stubborn glue, refusing to come off. I've learnt from it, and now, I refused to let it stop me from moving forward. I wasn't going to let fear control my life. This was me, with a new blank page. If they see me in 2018, success is guaranteed.

** Yoon **

_Ready, action, first, let's start with melo-romance_   
_Animation and drama, thriller, whatever it is, I'm a movie star_

I entered the company's van, and shut the door. I sat next to a grinning Mino. I took one last look at our apartment building as the van left the premise. My heart was heavy to leave the place That I've called home for the last ten years, but, I wouldn't let opportunity passed by me, without grabbing it. I'm ready to let this film to roll, and make a new lifetime movie with my brothers.

We're heading to the company's dorm. A new place. A new journey. Whatever happens after this, I will keep on striving to be a better person, and achieve my dream. I want to be a singer who moves others to tears. I want to be a performer who lift others up. I want to be someone who is loved for my talent and personality. Hurdles may come and try to stop me, but, in this movie, I am the star. I'm the main star.


	19. Epilogue : Smile Again

They waited rather impatiently in Mr Yang's office, after rushing out of their dorm this morning, as soon as Yoon received a text message from Mr Yang. Thank goodness everyone was already up, and was just eating their breakfast.

Mr Yang entered his office and smiled at the four brothers. "Were you waiting long?"

Jinu answered yes, and Hoon answered no. Mino and Yoon chuckled. In truth, they've been waiting for a good 30 minutes since Mr Yang's personal assistant allowed them to wait in the office.

Mr Yang smirked. "I have something to discuss with you boys." He looked at them one by one. "How long have you been trained here?"

"Two years and a half. We've been here since March 2011," Yoon answered, not letting any of his brothers to answer, and mess up the situation.

"I see. When do you think you're going to debut?" he asked.

Yoon thought for a moment, refusing to risk a wrong answer. Hoon beat him to it. "Soon. Most probably end of this year."

His brothers gawked at him.

Mr Yang nodded. "You think so?" He didn't let them answer the question. "I have news for all of you."

The brothers waited eagerly, praying their dream would become reality.

"You'll start preparing for your debut and first album next month. You probably will debut next year."

The brothers cheered.

"We're renaming the group though."

They went quiet.

"I think this name will suit you better. After all you went through. How does the name Winner sound to you boys?"

They looked at each other, and smiled. A genuine smile.

"We're Winner. I like that," Hoon said.

"It'll be cool," it was Mino

Jinu pointed out, "let's live like our name."

Yoon added in. "Yes. We shall be Winner."

They smiled again.


End file.
